Gantry Kids & Teens

Transitions - How to Help Our Kids Through

Michele Kelber • Aug 16, 2024

There are 1000 transitions in a day.

Wise words from a Dad of a three year old and a one year old.  The truth of the matter is that young children are experiencing most of life for the first time. Everything is awe inspiring.  Even if it's the same task, like getting out the door and into the car, they have little recollection of times before, or one little thing makes the experience different for them: the clothes they are wearing, the time of day, a puddle from last nights rain in the driveway, or even where the car is parked.  Remember too, that kids are learning analytical thinking and can't truly transfer concepts until they are approaching their teens.  You can read more about that in Chapter 3 of my book: "Where Kids Are" How Not to Ruin Your Kids, pp. 25-31.  So how do we support them in being able to transition smoothly and easily? 


The start of school is a HUGE transition for kids. Going from summer fun: late nights and slow mornings, to getting to bed early and up with the sun! In most homes, there is less structure in during the summer months, more physical activity and unstructured time in each day.  All those combined create space for kids to self-regulate much easier than during the school year when physical activity and movement in general is extremely limited, and each minute of the day is scheduled out. The new academic year may also be a series of NEW NEW NEW.

Nothing New on Race Day!

When I used to race marathons and triathlons, there was a saying...nothing new on race day.  No new clothing, sneakers, socks, nutrition, hairbands, bathing caps, even if they are the same, but just brand new out of the bag!  You don't want to end up chaffing in weird spots or spending more time in the bathroom than is necessary! Following this simple rule avoids NEW problems or worries.  First days of school and the like are often moments of numerous new things as well as transitions. New outfits, new shoes, new school supplies, new friends, new teacher, new school building, new walking route, NEW NEW NEW!  SYSTEM OVERLOAD! Yes, there are some things that you can't avoid, but there are others that you can manage before the big day to alleviate unnecessary angst!  Nothing new on race day friends!


If your child doesn't transition easily or has some nervousness about new situations, take the time to practice to get them through. This may look like a trial walk to their new school with time spent on the playground a few days before school starts! Putting into place school year practices like early to bed, laying clothes out the night before or packing lunches the week before school is back in session. Attending a meet and greet with teachers or checking out your after school program. Maybe even carrying their back pack around and including them in buying school supplies and labeling their personal items.  Having them contribute in the process provides agency and importance to a child. The bottom line is practice! If we manage the "doing" the nervousness of new things and transitions may not be as overwhelming. 


Including kids in the process has a two-fold purpose: they have accountability and the experience of some control over their lives and you get something off your plate!  Think about how often your child actually gets to make an autonomous choice?  Not very right? Parents and caregivers often decide what's for dinner, what clothes to wear, what's for lunch, when things get done. Outsource some of that to your child. Let them choose what they wear to school. Don't worry if it doesn't match or even seems like the wrong season. It's one of the few ways that kids can express themselves. You can encourage them to throw a hoodie in their bag in case they get cold. If not, they will learn on their own. You aren't a negligent parent for letting your child make a few choices. Now, I wouldn't wait until the morning to make these decisions, have them do it the night before and lay out their clothes (socks and unders included). If your child is overwhelmed with that decision making, give them three options to then choose one. For younger children, go through the process together.  As they gain more confidence in making choices, again, that's new to them, you can slowly become less involved. Maybe they make all the decisions and do the reveal for you when they are done!

Maintain Some Summer Fun

The amount of physical activity most kids get during the summer is ten fold from the school year. We see it every year at the beginning of Summer Camp. Kids are ravenous because the lunches that sated them during the school year no longer meet their nutrition needs in an adventure packed summer. They sleep better during the summer months from spending time outside and really exerting themselves throughout the day. They are literally tiring themselves out. They have stronger bones, tons of energy, and have healthier immunity with all the exposure to Vitamin D. They are centered and grounded being in nature.  I could go on and on.  The point being, during the school year, there are more constraints, so we have to make time for all these other things. 


How do we do that? For children not in after school, walk home from school (in all weather), spend time at the playground and park each day, maintain physical activity by riding bikes and doing outdoor activity.  Do homework outside, I am currently sitting on my patio in the morning writing this blog post. Soak up as much as you daylight, outdoor time, and get moving as much as you can!


For children that are in after school programs, see if they get outside. If that is not an integral part of their day, like at Gantry Kids After School, talk to the administrators of the program and see if some outside play can be integrated. Make sure the after school program also offers free play. Time for kids to play without adult intervention.  Again, it's one of the few times where kids have agency and autonomy.  It's also where the magic happens, life skills are learned and kids learn to regulate. If your child's after school doesn't provide these two basic needs and you have the option to look for a different program, go for it!


A Guide to After School


We believe these four pillars provide children (and adults too) with the tools needed to navigate today's world!


  • Outdoor Time: Humans are grounded in nature. Being outside helps regulate and restore kids' nervous systems, reset circadian rhythms, and ward off illness & build immunity no matter the weather!
  • Physical Activity: Organized games & team activities teach kids communication, leadership, and resiliance organically!
  • Unstructured Play: Adult free, peer only play gives kids autonomy, choice, and down time. In a natural environment, kids learn effective communication, conflict resolution, and their likes and dislikes. It's essential to building self-esteem and agency!
  • Wellness: Global, community, and individual wellness is our focus.  Kids have an opportunity to give back to the world, understand their impact and that humanity extends beyond their own self. We take care of ourselves, our neighborhood & the planet! © Gantry Kids & Teens


Take a look at the philosophy and practice of after school programs and see if it's meeting your child's needs. If your child is coming home bouncing off the walls, or even a little sad and lethargic, their after school may not be a good fit. Shop around and find what fits best. Consider when your child is happiest and the most engaged once they are in a program. Meaning, if they are fearful or apprehensive in the beginning that's okay, but it's not a measuring stick or where to hang your hat. Dive into where they are most self expressed and confident. Find a program that matches that engagement!


Obviously, we think Gantry Kids After School focuses on the whole child! You can register here to learn more about our program and have a one on on with our Program Manager Deanna.  She's available for virtual meets as well as in person at the gym.

Set your appointment here.


LEARN MORE
By Michele Kelber 25 Oct, 2024
Risky Play - Parent & Caregiver Buy In I know, Risky Play sounds SCARY! It may raise some eyebrows, but it's essential for a child's growth and development. Risky Play is generally play that is outside the achieved skill set of a child attempting to be performed in a fun and happy context. Helen Dodd and Kathryn Lester published the article, “Adventurous Play as a Mechanism for Reducing Risk for Childhood Anxiety: A Conceptual Model” in 2021. The paper states, “when children play in an adventurous way, climbing trees, riding their bikes fast downhill and jumping from rocks, they experience feelings of fear and excitement, thrill and adrenaline.” One of the difference between risky play and plane hazards in life is that risky play is done in a context of happiness and desire. This pushes each child to get used to feeling uncomfortable and manage their emotions around it. The authors noted that half of all anxiety disorders start before age 11, "so the earlier kids deal with "ambiguity" - the discomfort of not knowing how something will turn out, which they went on to say that which is at the heart of risk – the more chance of nipping anxiety in the bud." (from Let Grow: letgrow.org/risky-play-anxiety/) I was recently a guest on a panel discussing Adventure Playgrounds at the Association of Science & Technology Centers 2024 Conference. Did you know that tons of museums are building adventure playgrounds? Adventure Playgrounds range from "natural playgrounds" to "junk playgrounds". Governors Island is home to play:ground NYC, The Yard. The theme that runs through each is unrestricted play, and the absence of adult made play structures. Often adventure playgrounds are "no adults allowed" other than playworkers, trained to oversee the area. Adventure Playgrounds can have anything from hammers and nails to build with, trees to climb, treehouses to imagine from, ropes to swing on, and access to water. Many utilize found objects to spark creativity and imagination. Adventure playgrounds are facilitators of Risky Play! My portion of the presentation and panel addressed "Educating Grown-ups: Guiding Parents and Caretakers into Risky Play". I felt it was an important topic because allowing risky play the few times you visit an adventure playground isn't enough integration in a child's life. The goal is to support parents and caregivers to introduce, encourage and provide opportunities for risky play. My job as the founder of Gantry Kids is to provide such an environment AND to guide parents through what may be a scary time for them as they incorporate risky play at home. The Benefits The benefits of risky play are countless. In the forefront is learning to be in uncomfortable situations and get to the other side of them. It teaches follow through, coping with stressors, and understanding personal limitations. It also can improve motor skills and cognitive understanding, as well as improve social interaction skills. Kids that are risk adverse don't learn how to manage everyday situations or worse, it causes children to seek out hazardous actions and environments as a form of thrill seeking. Mental Health professionals are in agreement that the lack of risky play can lead to a lack of resilience and the onset of mental health issues like anxiety at a very young age. This almost always requires professional intervention. The Fears As adults we have our own set of fears around allowing children to participate in certain activities. One of the biggest fears around risky play is injury to the child and ability concerns - can the child even do it? Other fears that drive hesitation for adults is our own anxiety and worry. We take it on as if we are experiencing the action and just can't manage our own anxiety as we enter the rabbit hole of worry. By the way no one is more afraid on a skateboard than a newbie adult. Kids, meh, not so much. Lastly, adults, organizations, and municipalities are fearful of litigation. What if a child gets hurt and we get sued? I love fear. It's just our bodies way of telling us we are alive. Fears have a tendency to take over the area of our brains where rational thinking occurs. So stay vigilant and don't allow it. Literally say to yourself, Okay fear, I see and here you. Thanks for the feedback, but I'm going to do it anyway. If we actually looked at the statistical likelihood of something happening versus only considering our concerns we'd be doing way more stuff. Chapter 4: Where We Are as a Society of my book How Not to Ruin Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Raising Happy, Independent, Equipped Children addresses how fear impacts our parenting and in turn our children's agency, self-esteem and autonomy. It also breaks down statistics of one of our deepest fears: kidnapping. I point to the fact that "children abducted by strangers represent .01% of all missing children." Yet, we don't let our kids walk to school, run errands, or play at the playground without an adult for fear of them being taken. Point zero one percent. So you see, fears aren't always rational, supported by evidence or true yet we filter most of our decision making when it comes to our children through those emotions. The REALITY What's your reality? How often are your kids engaging in risky play or enjoying an adventure playground? The reality for most is that kids engage in risky play as a single experience . Whether it's a pop-up event, or an exhibit at a museum or a weekly visit to the cool playground. It's not often enough. Risky play includes everything from climbing, balancing, hanging, jumping, swinging, sliding, running, biking, skating, cutting, poking, whipping, sawing, tying, wrestling, play fighting, rough and tumble play, exploring unknown environments, introducing dangerous elements like elevation change, water, and fire. (Sandsetter, Ellen Beate Hansen and Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair (2011): "Children's Risky Play from an Evolutionary Perspective: The Anti-Phobic Effects of Thrilling Experiences". Evolutionary Psychology. 9:2, 257-284). Is your child engaging in risky play at home? How often do they climb a tree, balance on a curb, saw a piece of wood, play fight, take a short cut through the woods, or build a fire? All of this is risky play. Is risky play available to kids? Do we let them help make dinner and use a knife, are we painting pumpkins or carving them? At our Halloween Kids Night Out! we always have the kids carve pumpkins. Now, they are taught and guided by an adult, but they get to actually do it! Are they swinging on ropes like we do at the gym, or jumping from tall heights, even the couch counts. Biking is even risky play. Remember risky play is adventurous and brings some excitement and thrill to children in a happy environment. They are the barometer, not you. Is their school and after school program a proponent of risky play? Obviously Gantry Kids is! We work really hard to create an organic environment where kids have access to risky play and agency over themselves. We support their growth and encourage their development with each box jump, rope swing, and mile on the bike! Are parents and caregivers being supported? Are you as a parent or caregiver feeling supported in your quest to provide opportunities for risky play? It's hard we know. Hard to trust that your child can do the task, trust that they will stay safe and trust that you are making the right choices. Honestly, that's why a lot of parents send their kids to Gantry Kids. We handle the risky play and the mild heart palpitations. When you feel those, thank your fear for being present and act anyway. What's next? As a way to support parents, besides sending kids to the gym, I created this very basic, but informative info graphic. It breaks down risky play you can incorporate at home and then build on! By incrementally adding risk play to your child's life, you'll see the benefits, but also they are learning a new skill set, which will boost their confidence and independence! Remember, start small. Do things together, your eyes on, your hand off. Then start adding more and more. Don't wait until you are comfortable, acknowledge your fear and act anyway. You can do this!
By Michele Kelber 09 Oct, 2024
Why Free & Risky Play in After School Programs are Crucial for Child Development Parents often prioritize structured activities like homework time or organized sports when considering afterschool care. However, one of the most valuable and sometimes overlooked aspects of a child's development in these programs is free play—and even risky play. These activities provide essential opportunities for children to challenge themselves, develop new skills, and gain confidence, all while having fun. Let's dive into why free and risky play are beneficial, especially in an afterschool setting, and how programs like the ones we run at Gantry Kids & Teens in Long Island City, NY, are embracing these concepts. What Is Free Play and Risky Play? Free play is an unstructured, child-led activity. It’s play that allows children to explore their environment, use their imagination, and engage in physical and creative activities without an adult directing their every move. Whether it's a game of tag, climbing on a jungle gym, or inventing an entirely new game, free play allows kids to learn at their own pace, make decisions, and solve problems. Risky play is a type of free play that involves an element of risk, whether it’s climbing higher than they’ve ever climbed before or trying to balance on a narrow beam. While the word "risky" can sound intimidating, it doesn’t mean putting children in dangerous situations. Instead, it encourages them to test their limits in a somewhat controlled environment, helping them develop resilience, confidence, and problem-solving skills. The Importance of Physical Fitness and Exercise One of the biggest benefits of free and risky play in afterschool care is the opportunity for kids to engage in physical activity. While many afterschool programs focus on academic enrichment, it’s important to remember that physical fitness is just as crucial to a child's well-being. Free play naturally incorporates movement—running, jumping, climbing, and balancing all count as essential forms of exercise. These activities help kids develop strength, coordination, and endurance, which are key for maintaining a healthy body and mind. Afterschool programs that include ample time for free play give kids the chance to burn off energy after a long school day, allowing them to unwind and refresh their bodies and minds. This active form of play also helps combat the growing concern of sedentary lifestyles, especially in a world where children spend increasing amounts of time sitting in classrooms or in front of screens. Social and Emotional Growth Through Play Another critical aspect of free and risky play is the development of social and emotional skills. In an unstructured play environment, children are responsible for setting their own rules and navigating social interactions. They learn how to cooperate, negotiate, and resolve conflicts, which are all important life skills. Free play often leads to group activities where kids have to work together, fostering teamwork and leadership qualities. Risky play, in particular, teaches children to assess their abilities and take calculated risks. For example, when a child decides to climb a tree or cross a balance beam, they learn to gauge the difficulty of the task, weigh the risks, and develop the confidence to try. This type of self-regulation helps build resilience—children learn that it’s okay to fail, and they gain the confidence to try again, which is a lesson that extends far beyond the playground. Kids are taking risks, feeling apprehensive, and nervous in the context of fun. This allows them to manage their emotions and temper anxiety, a real diagnosis for many kids by the time they turn 11. Gantry Kids & Teens: Embracing Play in Long Island City, NY For our Long Island City families, Gantry Kids & Teens has developed a robust afterschool program that embraces the importance of free and risky play. The focus isn’t just on keeping kids busy but on fostering holistic development through creative and physical activities. The program we run at Gantry Kids emphasizes the value of play in building strong bodies and minds, giving children the freedom to explore their abilities in a safe environment.  The team at Gantry understands that children thrive when they are given the chance to lead their own play and push their boundaries. By incorporating elements of risky play, such as climbing, running obstacle courses, or engaging in imaginative games, Gantry Kids & Teens helps kids develop not only physical fitness but also the confidence to face new challenges in life. We also recognize the importance of balancing structured activities with free play. While we offer organized programs to enhance physical and social skills, we also give children the space to engage in self-directed, unstructured activities where they can develop their own games, create friendships, and discover new interests. This balance ensures that kids leave feeling accomplished, energized, and ready for the next day. Play Should Be More Than Just Fun Free and risky play aren’t just fun—they’re foundational elements of a child’s development. In the context of afterschool care and daycare, these activities allow children to gain confidence, build resilience, and strengthen their physical and mental health. Programs that incorporate free play, like what we run at Gantry Kids & Teens, offer kids the chance to develop in a way that structured activities alone cannot provide. When kids are given the opportunity to play freely and take risks, they become more creative, adaptable, and prepared for the world around them. Learn more about our afterschool programs at Gantry in Long Island City, NY .
Train tracks junction
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